Broken Wings and Bruised Fists
by ishxallxgood
Summary: Sometimes, during the course of our lives inexplicable things happen as a result of two opposing forces colliding. Shika x Tema AU about how Temari ultimately fell in love with Shikamaru. Rating change due to language. R
1. Intro

**This is a story about how Temari met Shikamaru, how she fell in love, and how she dealt with it. It is set in an AU, so obviously it's not a ninja world... The story is written in her POV, it's more or less a letter to someone (you prob know who... ;D)... **

**It is inspired by the song _To the Moon and Back_ by Savage Garden... I hope you like it... and if haven't heard the song... youtube it and listen to it... ;D It's AWESOME! ;D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own naruto nor its characters... they belong to Masashi Kishimoto... you knew that already... but I figured I'd tell you anyway... ;D**

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Sometimes, during the course of our lives inexplicable things happen as a result of two opposing forces colliding. Such a thing has happened to me, I am reluctant to admit it, but the one inexplicable thing that happened to me was the fact that I have fallen in love. Me, a woman who long ago swore that no man would ever enter the deep confines of my heart, fell in love. Now you are probably wondering why I am telling you all this, why I would even bother pouring my heart and soul out to another, quite honestly, I am not sure myself. I just felt the urge to release everything that has been locked away inside this fragile heart of mine. So please, if you may, please read this to the end, and then tell me that I am absolutely out of my mind.

The gears were set into motion a little over a year ago; I had been expelled from my previous school and was thrown into a new one. The reason for my expulsion was simple; I was a nuisance to them, I had gotten into one too many fights, broken one too many jaws, destroyed one too many classrooms. They claimed it was due to bad parenting, that my mother never loved me much, that my father was never around, that perhaps if they had paid more attention to me I would not have become the delinquent I am today.

Personally, I think it is all bullshit, I was not a delinquent, I was not really a nuisance, I was just a girl, protecting the only things that mattered to her; what was left of her broken family. It was they who taunted me, they who picked on me, they who ultimately drove me to who I ultimately became; a cold-hearted bitch. They knew nothing of our lives, they never cared to learn. True, my childhood was not full of rainbows and butterflies, but it was also not full of abuse and utter neglect. I was loved at one point, and at moments in time I am still loved, but my childhood is unimportant right now, what is important now is the fact that I was taken from the only world I knew, and thrust blindly into a new one.

I was torn away from the two things that kept me hanging on, my two younger brothers. Although, many times they were the source of my turmoil, the source of all the fighting and violence, I would still give anything to have them by my side again. I lived my life blindly for them, it was for them that the fights started, that the jaws were broken, that classrooms were destroyed. If they had not threatened my brother, if they had not attempted to hurt him, then perhaps none of this would have happened, perhaps I would have never met him. Unfortunately, we do not have control over what happens in life, we cannot change people's hearts, at least that is what I have always believed, that is, up until now.

Anyway, I believe this introduction is long enough, I believe that it is about time I begin my story, my story of how I met him, the man I foolishly fell in love with...

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**I hope you guys read this... please review if you like it... **

**I know this chapter is pretty much nothing... and I promise it'll pick up with the actual story in the next chapter so please please keep reading!! ;D**


	2. A new beginning

**I want thank you all for reading this so far... for the alerts and mostly for Sand-Jounin-Temari's review. I know that first chapter was not much of a set up for the actual story, and if it was, then I hope the story doesn't disappoint. ;D Well here's chapter two... hope you enjoy!~**

**Disclaimer: I still don't one Naruto... and never will. ;D That right belongs to Masashi Kishimoto... ;D**

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**The very first time I stood at the steps leading up to Konoha High School I remember not being impressed. Sure the building was new and elegant, sure the lawn was vividly green, full of students just lounging about waiting for the bell to sound, sure the ID cards were fancy, with an embedded microchip for scanning in, but all of that did not really impress me much. It was just another school, full of normal everyday students, fussy teachers, boring classes, frustrating projects, and irritating social interactions. I was pretty pissed off that first day, I was dragged from my hometown, separated from the only family I had left, forced to live on my own in a foreign city and attend a foreign school, just because I broke a few kids' faces and trashed a few classrooms.

The principal of Konoha High seemed pretty understanding, she told me it was normal to defend those we love, and that one or two faces, a chemistry lab, and a few broken desks were all part of the normal collateral damage for such things. I found her pretty intriguing, she made me smile, made me feel comfortable, meeting her made me understand why Baki, my guardian at the time, had chosen this school for me. Do not get me wrong, I still hated him for it, for separating me from my brothers, for forcing me to move to a distant city, far away from all I have ever known; I just simply understood his decision.

She eventually released me from the office, handing me my new, nifty ID card, my class schedule and a map of the school. Principal Tsunade had asked me if I wanted a guide for the first couple of days, but I declined. The last thing I needed was to be forced to talk to someone all day, the map was more than sufficient. I had to introduce myself a few times throughout the course of day, quite sure that no one really paid any attention to what I was saying anyway. Besides, it was pretty clear to me, through their hushed whispers and judgmental stares, that they all had their own theories on why I was there.

"So you're the new girl eh?" I glared at him, he was one of your typical jocks; stupid, arrogant, narcissistic, condescending, and incredibly irritating. The last thing I needed on my first day in hell was some retarded football player hitting on me. It was evident by the look in his eyes that all I was to him was some new challenge; a wild mare waiting to be tamed by him. He sickened me, the way he wore his bleached blond hair slicked back, the way he cocked his right eyebrow when he talked, the way he wore red contacts to exaggerate the sadistic glint in his eyes, the way his mouth curled into an overconfident smirk, it was all enough to make me gag. He was no different than the jocks at my old school, the ones whose jaws I have broken. If he was given the same opportunity as them, I am quite sure he would be right there with them, taunting my little brother, getting his jaw smashed in by my fists.

He pestered me for the rest of the period, asking me the most ridiculous questions, which were all silently dismissed by a series of deadly glares. His friends were not much better, they each approached me in turn, whether it be in class or in the hallways, each one just as irritating as the last. I was sure he put them up to it, at one point or another they had all mentioned his name. By the end of the day I wanted to scream, if I heard the name _Hidan _one more time I most definitely would have snapped. Fortunately for me the last class of the day was gym, and not only was I spared by the fact that neither him nor his lackeys were in my class, but I was also given the opportunity to unleash my frustrations on an innocent punching bag.

"Hey, you're Temari, right?" I nodded, breaking my concentration on the bag. Looking up I was met by a pair of brown eyes, shining brightly, and a blinding smile. It took me a moment, but I eventually recognized her. She was Tenten, the girl I had embarrassingly defeated less than two months ago during the women's mixed martial arts competition. She was all smiles and hugs when I silently acknowledged that I recognized her. Quite frankly, she confused me. I did not expect her to be happy to see me, in fact I expected an intense glare, snarled lips, and perhaps even a right hook to the face.

"It's great to see you again! Perhaps we could have a re-match at some point..." She blushed slightly as she spoke, the embarrassment slowly creeping onto her face. "... my performance last time was pretty pathetic."

I laughed. "So it was."

"So what brings you over here? I mean for real, not the made up bullshit everyone's been spitting around." If it had been anyone else who asked me that question that day I probably would have punched them in the face. Not because it was an offensive question, but because it would have been the only appropriate response. I did not hit her though. She made me laugh, something I had not done in a long time, so her pretty little face was spared. Besides, I was starting to like her.

I shrugged. "For now, we'll stick to the _bullshit everyone's been spitting around_." She nodded, understanding that I did not want to talk about it. Dropping the issue she instead prodded me with a list of teams I should join, teams she was captain of, to include the women's mixed martial arts team. I politely declined them all, joining a team, being forced to interact with people, it just was not my thing at the moment.

"Come on, you should really at least consider the women's mixed martial arts team. You're really good! You even defeated me without breaking a sweat!"

I laughed again. "Maybe... if you can defeat me... I'll join."

I can still remember the way her eyes sparkled when I suggested that we fight again, I have never seen someone so excited about the prospect of being beaten by me... again. Needless to say, I won, and I did not join the team. She was disappointed, but did not ask me to join again, that simple fact made me happy.

I never told her, but I envied her. In many ways we were the same person, our likes, our dislikes, our passions and dreams, but when it came down to our outlooks on life we were polar opposites. For that I envied her. She did not have to develop that cold, hard exterior I prided myself on, she did not have to look cynically at the world, to distrust all those around her, she did not have to learn that bitterness and resentment was the only way of life. I wanted to be like her, to be free, I was tired. My life was tiring, my demeanour was tiring. I wanted to be rid of all the venom, and anguish, and misery that plagued my heart.

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**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!~ I know... no Shikamaru yet... but he'll come... I promise. Please review!!! Thanks!~**


	3. Social interactions

**Sorry this took so long... I was having life issues and a little bit of trouble figuring out how to end this chapter... but it's done now. ;D  
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**The rating had to change due to the language in this chapter... so be prepared for some foul language.  
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**Oh and Temari is _slightly _OOC here... but you'll learn to deal... HAHA... or not... ;D let me know what you think... ;D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of its characters... I just use them to vicariously live my life through fiction... ;D They belong to Masashi Kishimoto... but you know that already...**

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Did you know that loneliness does strange things to people? I have always known loneliness to an extent, I was always the one on the outside looking in, never really fitting in with anyone around me. I never had a 'best friend,' a confidant, that is unless my stuffed bear counted, but he does not, but I did have my brothers. Brothers who were always there by my side, brothers who, despite how much I tormented, never stopped loving me. Coming home to that empty apartment, devoid of any life, was almost enough to make me scream. The loneliness I felt during those first few days in Konoha was unlike anything I have ever known in my life. I hated it; that feeling of utter abandonment, that feeling of needing someone.

I never would have admitted it then, but I was scared, miserably petrified of being alone. I needed the constant clamor of my brothers, someone to lash out at, someone to hit and hug and hold, someone to listen to my endless rantings, someone to irritate, yet comfort me, someone to love. If running away was an option back then, I would have done it in a heartbeat. I would have ran all the way home to my brothers, but unfortunately, home was over two thousand miles away. I did not have the money to fly home, hell I did not even have to money to take a bus cross country home, so I stayed. I stayed and I suffered.

My suffering did not lead to perseverance, nor did it produce character and ultimately hope, all it did was compound my loneliness. Resulting in a lonely and desperate Temari. I wanted to have someone around me, someone to hold, to make me feel needed, some one for me lash out my frustrations on, so I gave into Hidan and his advances. I despised him, god knows I detested almost everything there was about him, but he offered me an escape from myself.

"Hey gorgeous, you know, you should come to our game tomorrow night." He smiled at me and pulled his desk a little closer to mine. Turning to face him I felt a smirk tug at the corner of my lips as I moved my first piece, setting the game into motion.

My eyes locked onto his and I cocked an eyebrow as the smirk slowly spread across my lips. "Oh? And why is that?"

He chuckled, his eyes dancing with excitement. "So you can see how fucking fabulous I am on the field."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Hmmm, maybe... but if I do show, and you're not _fucking fabulous,_ what will you do for me?"

I watched as he smiled confidently, the rusty gears in his head turning as he attempted to come back with a witty retort. As he settled on a response, a look of accomplishment crept across his face; as if he had finally succeeded in his mission to seduce me. I could have laughed then. He was a fool, little did he know that I was the one pulling the strings, that if I had not been so damn bored and lonely at that time I never would have acknowledged his existence. He was an easy prey, like all of the other overconfident, pompous, assholes I have known in the past.

"I'll take you out and show you things you never knew you never knew... but what if I _am_ fucking fabulous? What will _you_ do for me?" His cockiness delighted me. The more arrogant they were, the harder they always fell in the end when I crushed their pride. Call me a sadistic bitch if you want, but that simple fact excited me.

I outright laughed at him. To think that he thought I would EVER owe him anything. "Let's just say if you _are_ fucking fabulous, I'll grace you with my company."

He unwittingly played into my hands, for he apparently he liked my retort. He laughed. I smirked. Class continued.

Needless to say, the next day I was impressed by his performance and he failed to show me anything I did not already know, but he did relieve me of my boredom. Over the course of a month and a half I toyed with him, knocked him around with my paws, used him as I saw fit. It amused me the way he always thought that he was calling the shots, that he had somehow "conquered" me. The late night rendezvous, or quickies before his games, all our random hook-ups in various places, it was all initiated and controlled by me. Call me a whore, a slut, a tramp, whatever you like, but when it comes down to it, I am really nothing more than a girl fulfilling her needs.

Unfortunately for me, the problem with guys like Hidan was that all they had to offer was eye candy and great sex. God forbid I ever attempted intelligent conversation with them. After a month and a half of fooling around, I needed someone intelligent around me, someone who can match my wit and hold a conversation. Quite frankly I was bored of Hidan, yeah we had our fun, but the spark was gone. So sporadically one day in the middle of lunch, I yawned and nonchalantly told him it was over.

"What do you fucking mean it's over?" He snapped as he glared menacingly at me.

I rolled my eyes. "It means I'm done with you. Go away you bore me." I said dully, brushing him off.

"Fuck you, cunt. _You're done with me_, my ass. We're fucking done when I say we're done." He roared at me, as he violently stood up tossing his chair aside. The clamor in the cafeteria abruptly stopped and every pair of eyes turned toward us.

I chuckled. He had set himself up for humiliation, what was I to do but play along? "Excuse me?"

His glare intensified as he closed the distance between us. The anger flared in his eyes, like all the other jocks before him, I knew he was about to do something extremely stupid. "You heard me you little bitch." He said as he slammed me against the wall, his fingers digging into my neck. "We're not fucking through yet. You _will_ keep spreading those pretty little legs of your for me. You fucking slut."

The whole situation was so ludicrous I almost laughed. Like all worthless, pathetic, boys he simply assumed that he could over power me, that I was another one of those stupid, weak, little girls he could just rough around a little and make submissive. The string of profanities that escaped his lips when my hand shot up and broke his nose was priceless. He dropped to the floor like the spineless little pussy he was, cradling his broken nose as the blood gushed out.

"You're lucky that was just your nose." I said yanking his head up by his hair. "Put your hands on me again and I'll break every bone in your body." Dropping him I wiped his blood off my hands and exited the cafeteria. Little did I know the hell I would have to pay for that seemingly insignificant act of violence.

By the time the bell rang signaling the end of lunch, it was apparent that the whole school was informed of our little altercation in the cafeteria. The reception I received was mixed; I was thanked by some who were bullied by him, others glared at me for taking out one of the Akatsuki, the school's prized varsity football team, but for some reason everyone wanted to confirm details of what happened by bombarding me with endless questions. Everyone except the teachers. They were surprisingly unresponsive to what was going on, and what confused me the more was the punishment I was delivered. Instead of detention, or a suspension, I was told that as a punishment for fighting, I had to join a team or club to "learn how to properly socially interact with people."

I wanted to puke at that idea, bah, social interactions. I hated it. I would have preferred detention or suspension or even a beating, but since I really did not have any other option, I begrudgingly took the list of teams and clubs from Principal Tsunade. As I headed over to the gym for the last class of the day, I was not only overly frustrated from everyone asking me to recount what happened, but I also had to deal with the fact that apparently Hidan is a fucking masochist, and our little fight made him believe I was the girl of his dreams.

"Hey Temari! I heard about what happened at lunch today."

Looking up from my assault on the punching bag, I glared at Tenten. "I don't want to talk about it. Don't ask. I'm not in the mood." My words came out more like a growl, the irritation clearly evident in my voice. Anyone else would have shrank back, tucked their tails neatly between their legs and whimpered away, but not Tenten. She just smiled at me and shrugged her shoulders.

"Don't worry, I wasn't going to ask." She chuckled as she came up next to me placed her hand on the punching bag. "I just wanted to tell you I love the way you owned his ass."

Inexplicably, her words dispelled my irritation and I cracked a smile. "Che, only now I have to play nice and '_learn to socially interact with people_.'" I rolled my eyes. "I rather get hit by a bus than be forced to do that."

She laughed, playfully punching me in the arm. "You're too much Temari."

I groaned. "No, I'm serious. I can't believe this school and its stupid ass rules. I mean seriously!? Who punishes someone by forcing them to join a team or club!?"

"Oh my god, really? Well that's Principal Tsunade for you! At least she's only making you only join one... But if you want I can help you go through the list."

I stared at her questioningly. "Alright, but I'm not joining any teams. Teams always seek some form of commodore through forced friendships, and I don't want anything where I actually _have_ to interact with people."

She laughed again. "Okay, deal. So you wanna go to McDonald's after school to go through the list of clubs?"

"Sure."

The reason I agreed to letting her help was because I had always enjoyed the short conversations I had with Tenten during gym, and the fact that I realized I knew nothing of the school's clubs. Looking back at that time I have come to just by being with her I was slowly learning how open up to others.

She picked up the list and glanced at it quickly as I shoved a fry into my mouth. "Alright, so nothing that deals with people. Well there goes Habitat for Humanity or the Key club, too much helping others for you there."

I laughed, almost choking on the fry. "You got that right. Good god. Get rid of anything dealing with pop culture or something retarded like that too."

"Hmmm..." She quickly went down the list scratching off random clubs. "Well there goes half the list! Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't want to join Youth for Jashin either, for obvious reasons."

"God no. I would never put myself through that hell. Apparently by breaking his nose he now thinks I'm the 'girl of his dreams.' Gag."

Tenten almost choked on the soda she was drinking. "No way! Wow. That guys has more issues that it seems. But yea, you probably don't want anything to do with the members of Akatsuki so we should get rid of the Environmental Club, the Drama Club, the Future Business Leaders of America, and the Marine Biology Association."

"So what does that leave us with?" I asked while picking out the crunchy fry bits.

"Hmmm... the Chess Club and the Debate Team."

I frowned. I did not like either one of those choices, but I ultimately chose the Chess Club even though I had no idea how to play for the simply fact that it was the lesser of two evils. There was no need to actually talk to anyone while playing chess, just two players, a board, and a bunch of random pieces. That decision to join the Chess Club turned out to be the single most influential decision of my life.

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**I hope you liked it... please review! thanks!  
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	4. Chess Club

**Here you have it... chapter 4. I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own naruto.... blah blah blah.**

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That following Tuesday I reluctantly stood at the door of classroom 305 wondering what it was I was doing there, what it was I was about to get myself into. Under normal circumstances, the Chess Club would have been the last club I joined. What would I have to offer to a room full of nerds with thick glasses and pocket protectors sitting around completely absorbed with little black and white pieces? It wasn't like I had a desire to learn how to play that game, so why would I be there? A little part of me wanted to run away, to perhaps take up Tenten's offer to join the Women's Mixed Martial Arts Team, to be any where else but there. But the funny thing with life is that sometimes, although we believe that we are in perfect control of our circumstances, God reaches in and shakes us up a little, challenges us by changing our scenery.

"Are you just going to stand there or you going to come in and join us?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the door suddenly opened and a large scruffy man appeared in front of me. He reeked of cigarette smoke and cologne, and although his expression was amiable, his posture and stance was intimidating. Quite frankly, he confused me, his demeanor reminded me of one of those laid back English teachers, the type who made students read books like Fitzgerald's _The Great Gatsby_ or Hemingway's _For Whom the Bell Tolls_, definitely not the kind of guy you would expect to be the sponsor of the Chess Club.

"Sorry I startled you, but you were standing there staring at the door... and I felt the need to welcome you since we don't normally get new members." He smiled apologetically at me as he ran his hand nervously through his hair.

Glaring at him with my arms neatly folded in front of my chest, I scoffed. "Not that I want to be here... but Principal Tsunade really left me no other choice."

He laughed heartily as he gestured for me to enter the room. "Well then, you must be Temari! I'm Mr. Sarutobi, and boy are you in luck! You chose the perfect club to serve out your sentence."

I rolled my eyes as I walked by him, _perfect club my ass_, I thought to myself, but as soon as I surveyed the room, I understood what he meant. The room was completely empty, save for a scrawny kid with his hair pulled back in a high pony tail, sitting by the window engrossed in a solitary game of chess. A smirk tugged at the corner of my lips and I mentally patted myself on the back; of all the clubs in the school, I somehow managed to pick the one that only had one member to _learn_ how to socially interact with others.

"That's Shikamaru, my only member." Mr. Sarutobi said pointing at the kid as he walked past me toward his desk. "Brilliant kid, really."

I shrugged; the kid certainly didn't _look_ brilliant. Even as he sat there, intently staring at the board, his expression bore indifference and his movements were lethargic, he simple looked like he'd rather be taking a nap or watching the clouds.

"So have you ever played chess before?"

I diverted my gaze from Shikamaru back to Mr. Sarutobi and shook my head no. "... And quite frankly, I have no intention of learning. I'm just here because it seemed like the lesser of two evils."

Chuckling to himself, he leaned back and pulled out a book from one of the drawers in the desk he was currently sitting on. Looking over the book quickly, he gently tossed it to me. "How about this. Read through that book, learn the basics of the game, and if you can checkmate Shikamaru you'll never have to come back." He smiled at me. "I'll tell Tsunade that you've been here every week for the rest of the semester."

I caught the book and replayed every word of his proposal in my head. "So let me get this straight, all I have to do to get out of actually coming here every week is checkmate that kid?"

He nodded.

Narrowing my eyes at him I asked, "What's the catch?" as I quickly skimmed through the book, picking out the rules I would need to know in order to play.

"No catch. Just checkmate him in a game, and you're off, scot-free."

A smirk slowly spread across my lips as I contemplated the prospect of his proposal. The challenge itself didn't seem that difficult, the rules of the game were pretty simple, capture the king by locking him in with your other pieces, when the opposing king had no legal moves left, you win, it's a checkmate. It was a strategy game, and quite frankly, strategies were my forte, along with bashing in faces that is. "Mr. Sarutobi, you're on."

"Alright then." He leapt to his feet and walked over to the kid. "Hey Shikamaru, reset the board please? You're going to play against Temari here."

Shikamaru shot Mr. Sarutobi an annoyed glare and muttered the word "troublesome" under his breath before he went to work resetting the pieces. I chuckled to myself and plopped down in this chair across from him, watching him as he moved each piece back to its proper place.

When he finished moving all the pieces back into place, he yawned, sat back in his chair, placed his hands neatly behind his head and stared out the window. I looked at the board, then at him, took a quick glance out the window and then back at the board again. There they were, thirty-two little black and white pieces, neatly lined up waiting to be moved. I looked up at him again, his expression was blank as he stared out the window, his dark brown eyes half closed as if he was ready to take a nap. "Well...? Aren't you going to move?" I asked, my words laced with irritation.

He yawned again, shifted his gaze from the window to the board and then up to me. "No." He said simply before looking out the window again. "You're white. It's your move first."

I glared at him. "Well how the hell was I supposed to know that!?"

He shrugged. "Didn't you read the book?"

I wanted to punch him in his cheeky little mouth, but I refrained. Violence was the reason why I was there in the first place, so I just checked my tongue, picked up a pawn, and moved it two spaces forward.

The game lasted a lot longer than I had expected it to, stepping into the game I was confident of my abilities to beat this bratty little kid, but as the game progressed, I came to the realization that he was definitely a lot smarter than he looked. Mr. Sarutobi wasn't kidding when he said that Shikamaru was brilliant, he also knew there was no way I would be able to checkmate this kid on my first try. Of course, my pride would never allow me to admit defeat, and before I knew it I was quickly learning a game I had never intended to learn or play.

It turns out that chess was one of those games I was inherently good at, and despite the fact that it was my first time playing and despite the fact that apparently this kid is some sort of fucking genius, an hour and a half passed before I smugly moved my rook and placed his king in check. "Check." I said as a smirk spread across my lips.

Shifting in his chair slightly, he leaned forward and stared at the board. There weren't too many moves left, and I was confident that I could checkmate him in the next five moves. His brows furrowed slightly as he took in all the pieces on the board, then he clasped his hands together, forming a circle with his fingers, and slowly closed his eyes.

I scowled, and I swore I heard Mr. Sarutobi chuckle to himself. Crossing my arms I settled back in my chair and watched him, occasionally shifting my eyes off of him and onto the board. The room was irritatingly silent, the only noises coming from the incessant ticking of the wall clock above the chalkboards, and the occasional creaking of the desk whenever Mr. Sarutobi shifted his weight. About ten minutes passed before I was quite sure Shikamaru was asleep and I was about to go out of my mind.

"What the hell are you doing, you fucking lazy ass brat!?" I screamed as I slammed my hands down onto the desk, rattling the board. "We're in the middle of a fucking game! Why the hell are you taking a nap!?!?"

Startled by my sudden outburst, I heard Mr. Sarutobi close the book he was reading and jumped to his feet. Quietly he walked over to us and placed his hand gently on my shoulder. "Calm down Temari. He's not asleep. That's just how he thinks."

A low growl escaped my lips. "This is bullshit. Isn't there time limits on how long you're allowed to take to make a move or some shit like that!?"

Shikamaru looked up at us, glared at me for a moment, mumbled something to himself and resumed his previous pose.

"What the hell was that!?" I picked up one of his captured pawns and launched it at him. "You got something to say to me punk!? Fucking man up and say it!"

When he caught that pawn without even opening his eyes, I realized that sometimes, even though we think we know everything, that we have the people around us all figured out, life can surprise us. The labels and stereotypes I've always known to be true were one by one being stripped off the people around me. Eventually he opened his eyes again, and without saying a word to me, or acknowledging the fact that I had just randomly attacked him, he picked up his knight and continued the game.

The confidence I had gain when I checked him earlier was being quickly dissolved. I was sure that I could have checkmated him, but he pulled out moves I never saw coming, and pretty soon he had my king in check. As irritated as I was by this sudden turn of events, I had to admit, I was pretty impressed by him. In fact, I was so impressed by him that I was thoroughly disappointed when he decided to resign from the game.

"What the hell do you mean you resign!?" I screamed as he gently tipped his king over for good measure. "You can't just fucking resign like that! The game's almost over! Can't you just finish it!?"

He looked at me apathetically and stood up. "Nope. Can't do. It's five thirty already, and I have to get home. No chess game is worth the wrath of my mother."

"What the hell!? That's the lamest fucking excuse I've ever heard."

He shrugged, threw his bag over his shoulder, and turned toward the door. "Whatever you say woman."

Glaring at him I watched him wave goodbye to Mr. Sarutobi before exiting the room. As the door slammed shut I defeatedly slumped back into my chair and stared at the unfinished game of chess. I had won, but only because he resigned. Sitting there I saw that if he had stayed for another five minutes, the game would have been over, and he would have had me in a checkmate.

I still can't quite explain what happened that afternoon, but what I do know is that ever since that first game of chess I couldn't get that kid out of my mind. Shikamaru made me realize that there was more to people than what met the eye. He was a mystery to me, a mystery I just simply had to unravel. Like all the people I've met since coming to Konoha, he did not quite fit into any of the little boxes I liked to categorize people in, but unlike anyone else I've met in Konoha, I was completely captivated by him.

Perhaps it was the fact that he crushed my pride, or the fact that he managed to surprise and impress me, but what ever it was, a fire was ignited within me, and I burned with a passion to master that game, so that one day I would, by my own right, beat him. Mr. Sarutobi's words didn't mean anything to me anymore; I didn't want to checkmate him so that I would never have to come again. All I wanted was another chance to connect with Shikamaru, over a board and thirty two little plastic pieces.

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**Please review!~ Thanks.**


	5. Title

**Thanks for all the love on the story so far! I'm glad you guys are liking it!~ **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... you know that.  
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One late November night I found myself on the roof of my apartment building, staring up at the midnight sky. Every now and again I would get horrible bouts of insomnia and find myself awake for days on end, and every time that happened I would find myself staring up at the dark night sky, hanging all of my hopes on the stars. It had been about three months since I came to Konoha, and that night I felt the inexplicable urge to immerse myself in the glimmering glow of the wondrous stars. Unfortunately Konoha was much to big and cloudy of a city for one to truly see the night sky, and I once again felt that sting of loneliness I knew during my first few days there; not only have I been separated from the only two people I truly loved, but my glorious stars, my sole comfort in this turbulent world, had been snuffed out by the bright city lights and the ever present clouds.

Counting the handful of stars that managed to make it way through the dense clouds I felt a fervent longing arise from the depths of my heart. I longed to be free of the shackles around my feet, I longed to be healed of my brokenness; to learn how rise from the ashes and conquer my past, but the flames continued to scorch my soul, etching its path deep within my heart, consuming my wings and inhibiting my ability to soar above my misery. I wanted to scream out, to unleash the demons I had kept locked up inside me, the demons who were slowly consuming my life, but no sound would escape my lips, no relief would come to me.

My fist slammed into the brick wall, sending eletricfying shocks up my arm, but I pushed it aside and just kept on pounding. I pounded that wall until the blood flowed freely from my knuckles and the pain, the pain became nothing more but a numbing tingle, traveling up and down my arms. I hadn't slept for days, and the pain was somewhat comforting, for it distracted me from myself, from my thoughts, and most importantly from the emotions raging about my already fragile heart.

I eventually came to my senses as the sun slowly rose above the eastern horizon, as the red splashes of blood was illuminated by the ever persistent morning sun. Suddenly the throbbing pain emanating from my knuckles became unbearable, and the ghastly sight of my blood smeared against the white washed staccato sickened me. It reminded me of things I longed to forget, things from my past that would momentarily slip in and out of focus. I didn't want to remember, so I left that rooftop, bandaged up my hands and sullenly made my way to school.

"Holy shit Temari! You look like you just fought your way out of someone's ass!"

I glared at the aggravating ass-wipe who once again pulled his chair closer to mine. "Fuck off, Hidan."

"Aww baby, you know how much I love it when you talk to me like that!" He moved dangerously close to me and it took every ounce of restraint in my body to not punch him in the face again. You would think that after a month and a half he would have given up already, but no, he was one persistent little pest.

I tried my best to ignore him for the rest of the period, to just tune him out and attempt to concentrate on the lesson. What really irked me about the whole situation was the fact that the imbecile who calls himself an English teacher, a perverted old man who likes to go by the name of Jiraiya, did nothing to reprimand the moron next to me. By the end of the day I have come to realize that if you come to school with bloody knuckles and an extreme lack of sleep, people like to come up to you and point out the fact that you look like ass. Not that I cared much of what others thought of me anyway, but having people approach me for such nonsense was taxing.

My only source of relief was in room 305, during the past month or so, that room had become my sanctuary, the one place I could find solace. As always there was a comforting silence as I entered the room. Mr. Sarutobi was perched on his desk reading a book as usual, and Shikamaru, Shikamaru was off in his own little world staring up at the clouds waiting for me to move the first piece.

Perhaps it was due to the fact that the game engrossed me, or the fact that I found Shikamaru's silent company eerily comforting, but playing that game of chess helped me escape from all the turmoil locked inside myself. For those few fleeting hours I forgot all that was eating at my soul; the lost emotions raging within me, the momentary lapses in memory, everything that tormented me were cast aside during those precious hours and the world was nothing more than a black and white checkered board.


	6. Idle Sundays

**Since Chapter 5 was more or less a filler chapter... and since it was so short... here's Chapter 6!~**

**I want to thank you guys for all your love on this story so far... thanks for all the faves, but please review too... I 3 reviews... they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. They belong to Kishimoto...**

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Sunday morning came and went, along the nagging desire to go to Confession. Once again I had managed to suppress the dreadful itch for God in my life, and yet perhaps Mass followed by Confession would have relieved me of my insomnia. It has been six painfully torturous nights since I had last slept and quite honestly I did not know if my body could take much more. Back home, when the insomnia had finally taken its toll on my body I would venture out of the city, into the wild and unforgiving desert and just lie there under the brilliant desert sun. Oh how I missed the beautifully vast and open landscape of the desert, the clear blue skies and scorching sun; I needed a distraction from the small, drab apartment I called home here in Konoha, I needed to be outside, to be one again with the sky.

The problem with large cities like Konoha is that there isn't much room for large open spaces, all the little parks that littered the city were crowded with the Sunday rush of people relaxing after church. In my vain attempts to find a suitable spot to relax, I found myself wandering around in the large cemetery on the outskirts of the city. It was a quiet and peaceful place, the grass smartly cut, hedges trimmed to perfection, tombstones neatly lined up in symmetric rows. Off in the northern corner, just beyond the large monument, erected in honor of all the fallen soldiers who fought in the Great War, I found a delightful grassy knoll. I politely paid my respects to the fallen before settling down on the grass with my back against the cool granite, the sun beaming down upon my face. The sky was very different than the skies I was used to, the grass very different than the grass I had known, but all in all that spot hit home. I felt the anxiety melt away, the shackles loosen, and before I knew it I was in a pleasant, peaceful sleep.

When I awoke later that day, two things struck me at once. The first was the clouds. I had never paid much attention to the clouds in Konoha, and when I opened my eyes I was greeted by the most beautiful clouds I have ever known in my life. The sun had just begun its decent beyond the western horizon and the magnificent hues of reds and yellows were reflected off the ever present clouds. Never in my life had I witnessed such a magnificent sunset, the sunsets of the desert had its own distinctive charm, but the clouds, the clouds provided something special.

The second thing that struck me was the fact that there was someone situated next to me. At once I recognized him as Shikamaru, the kid from the Chess Club. He was lying on the grass not five feet from me, he hands tucked neatly behind his head, his eyes locked upon the clouds floating above.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, glaring at him, upset that there was someone intruding my solitude, yet slightly relieved that I was not alone.

He sat up and stared at me indifferently, "I could ask you the same thing."

Turning away from him, I leaned back onto the monument and diverted my attention back toward the sky. "I suppose you just wanted to get away from the world too." I said placidly.

"I suppose."

I pulled my knees toward my chest and leaned over, casually picking at the grass by my feet. "So what's your story?" I asked candidly.

"What do you mean?"

I shrugged. "You know, why are you so quiet all the time? Why do you need to escape from the world? Why are you so… different from everyone else?" I surprised myself a little as the words flowed from my lips. It was strange to me that I even wanted to know, that a small part of me wanted to understand someone other than myself.

"It's too troublesome." He replied flatly, settling back down onto the grass.

I sat there fiddling with the grass and waited for him to continue. When it became evident that there was nothing more to his answer I snapped. "That's it? '_It's too troublesome'_? That's your fucking answer!" If I had anything hard in my hand at that moment, I most definitely would have launched it at him. To think that for half a second I had wanted to know more about him, that for half a second I actually felt the desire to attempt to see the world through someone else's eyes.

He sighed and mumbled something under his breath before turning to face me again. "So... what's your story? Why are you so angry all the time? Why do you feel the need to escape from the world? Why are you so different from everyone else?"

I glared at him. "Why the hell do you even care?"

"Because you're an enigma."

I must admit I was taken aback by his response. I had expected him to say something more along the lines of '_You're right, I don't care._' Once again he managed to surprise me, once again when I believed that I had him all figured out, he pulls something out of his sleeve that just simply floors me.

I growled softly at him, not out of anger but because I simply did not know how to respond. Defeated I bowed my head and mumbled, "I asked you first."

Stifling a yawn he stretched and sat up slightly, propping himself up with his elbows. "What do you want me to say? I suppose I'm 'quiet' because I'm lazy. I find interacting with most people too troublesome, and at most times I find talking itself too troublesome..."

I chuckled softly to myself, and interjected. "Then why are you talking to me now?" I asked sarcastically.

He glowered at me. "Quite frankly, because **not** talking to you would be more troublesome."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

He sighed and turned back to the sky, "Exactly that. If I ignore you for too long you just throw a fit, attacking me with various objects and nagging me to death. So with you, it's just simply easier to respond. For one, it's less work and for two, I don't get injured that way."

I got up and kicked his right elbow out from under him, resulting in him losing his balance and hitting the ground. Smirking I stood over him with my arms crossed. "Seems like you'll get injured either way."

Sitting up he groaned and rubbed his elbow. "Troublesome woman."

I snickered. "So what brings you here?" I asked plopping down next to him.

"It's quiet. I can watch my clouds in peace. No one ever comes here... no one bothers me here... except you apparently."

"Evidently." I looked up at the sky, the sun was steadily sinking beyond the horizon, it was strange, but I enjoyed talking to him, I enjoyed his company. I glanced over at him, at the apathetic boy sitting next to me, absorbed in the passing clouds, yet his expression was blank. He intrigued me, I longed to understand the inner workings of his mind, I wanted to dissect him, he called me an enigma, I could say the same about him. "But... I want to know _why_ you actually come here? What are you escaping from?"

He turned and eyed me suspiciously. "... Why the twenty questions?"

I shoved him, hard. "Just answer the question."

He sighed and settled back into grass, hands neatly folded under his head. "Life. People. My parents. Myself."

I was taken aback, his words struck me. His response reflected my own sentiments. On the surface we were polar opposites; two opposing forces ready to collide, and yet deep inside, the same chains and fetters bound my wings, bound his feet. I wanted to prod him further, to bombard him with questions, to dig into his mind and sift through all the things that bound him, to find that common thread we shared, but I refrained.

I watched him as he continued to stare up at the clouds slowly drifting by, completely engrossed in their small, subtle movements. "Hmmm... I suppose that's why you're always lost in the clouds..." I said softly more to myself than to him.

He looked over at me quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"Hmm? Oh nothing..." I leaned back and turned my eyes to the sky, watching as the clouds reflected the brilliance of quickly fading sun. We both sought solace from the skies, we both immersed ourselves completely in the great vastness of it. I found myself smiling as we sat there in harmonious silence, and I couldn't help but think that perhaps, the clouds were to him what the stars were to me; an escape from this world, an escape from all the demands and afflictions life threw at us.

"So what are you escaping from?" He asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

I shrugged. "Mostly myself... partly my past. Definitely life."


	7. Coming Home

**OMG I'm not dead! Sorry for keeping you guys "in suspense" for over a year. D: Anyway... here's the long awaited chapter 7. I should have chapter 8 up pretty soon. I won't keep you guys waiting another year before finishing this. I promise. I hope this was worth the wait... I like how it came out.**

**Please review guys, I'm glad that you're still reading this, and favoriting it, but reviews really do rock my socks. D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor any of its characters, that right belongs to Kishi.**

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We never really talked much after that short conversation at the graveyard. Our lives just continued quietly, silent games of chess on Tuesday afternoons, and idle Sundays lying on the grass watching the clouds. He didn't ask me about myself again, he didn't prod me for my story, he just lied there and stared up at the clouds, lost in his own thoughts. I didn't ask him to explain himself again, I wasn't ready to talk about my past, therefore I wasn't going to force him to talk about his. So on those lazy Sunday mornings I just sat there, back against the granite monument staring at the wildflowers in the field, sometimes at him, sometimes at the clouds. I enjoyed his presence, even though we never really spoke, we still somehow managed to communicate. Our silence spoke volumes, and with each passing week we came to understand each other just a little bit more.

Christmas break came and went, I received a phone call from Baki, wishing me a merry Christmas, telling me that he's making arrangements for me to come home for the summer break. I gave up caring long ago, every now and again I would miss my brothers, I would miss Kankuro's silly pranks and Gaara's sulking, but it didn't affect me the way it used to. I had gotten used to my quiet mundane life, I didn't have trouble sleeping anymore, even Hidan's antics ceased to phase me. For a moment in time I felt the shackles around my feet loosen, the fetters that bound my wings unwrap, for a split second I almost felt whole again.

Before I knew it the months flew by and Baki kept his word. One May afternoon I received the plane tickets to return home. It was a round trip ticket, I left the day after classes ended and flew back the day after my birthday. When the time finally came for me to leave Konoha I felt somewhat melancholy, it was strange given how much I hated being there when I first arrived, but the muggy humid air and over abundance of greenery and clouds had grown on me.

Going home was a strange feeling, even though nothing had changed, everything felt alien to me, from the dry desert heat to the barren wasteland that stretched on as far as the eye could see, even my brothers seemed foreign to me. They were in fact still the same people, Kankuro was still his whimsical self, playful yet volatile if you crossed him the wrong way, Gaara was still solemn, dark and quiet, everything and everyone was still exactly as I had left it, so why did everything seem so different? I was unbelievably uncomfortable those first few days home, the sun was too bright, the land was too desolate, the air was too arid, I longed for the fluffy clouds of Konoha, for the lush meadows and fragrant air. I had become so accustomed to my silent days that the clamor of my brothers, which had once been my saving grace, became nothing more than an unbearable ruckus.

As the days slowly passed, the blazing desert sun warmed my heart and kissed my skin, the cool desert nights calmed my soul, enveloping me in a glittering blanket of twinkling stars. It was during those enchanting nights, lying there with the universe brilliantly displayed above me that I came to realize that my heart was no longer grounded in Suna. I didn't realize it at first, but after a while the stars began to arrange themselves like a chessboard, unfinished games materializing within the lost constellations, soothing me, reminding me of lost Tuesday afternoons and idle Sundays. For a moment it unnerved me, it frightened me to know that my world was changing so quickly, that a mere nine months away could pull me away from all the rage and despair in my heart. I was scared and lost, terrified of being vulnerable again, petrified at the idea that at any moment, all those hopes and dreams I had so carefully hung on the stars could come crashing down upon me, suffocating me in a dust storm of sulfur and ash.

A long time ago, all my friends had betrayed me, for whom and for what I can no longer remember, all I remember is the agonizing pain and the empty void left inside my heart. All those painful memories have been buried away so deep in my mind that even if I wanted to, I could never recall what I had chosen to forget. All I had left of my dark and sullied past was my broken and fragile family. For so many years I had clung to them, used them to fill that gapping hole within me, they were all I had left in this world. We weren't the perfect family, we were far from it, but through it all we held together. There were many times I swore Gaara would kill us, but Kankuro and I would smile and push past it, burying the flashes of blood in the abyss, repressing that lingering feeling of fear and instead gingerly approach him with what love and affection we could conjure up and hope the moment would pass. For the past few years, it was how we endured everything that had transpired, it was how we survived.

As the days turned to weeks and the weeks turned to months, it dawned on me that I was not the only one who had changed. It was true that my brothers had in fact remained very much the same, but at the same time, it became quite evident that they did not need me the way they used to. During our time apart they had somehow adapted to life without me, they found their own way to survive, no longer needing me to keep their heads a float, and to wash away the blood. This revelation left a sinking feeling within my stomach and I felt that lingering nightmare threaten to consume me again. They had been my salvation, the glue that had kept me from dissipating into the night, and now, just like everyone else in this god-forsaken world, they too deserted me. All those feelings of abandonment and alienation came flooding back into me, drowning me in sea of misery and for a moment I could not breathe. I was trapped in a living nightmare, in a distant memory and I wanted nothing more than to claw my way out of it.

I wanted to hate my brothers, I wanted to cast them aside as I had done with everyone else in my life, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. No matter how much it hurt, no matter how much it destroyed me to know that I was no longer needed, I could not stop loving them. They were all that remained of a tattered and frayed childhood, they were all that remained of my beaten and battered heart. I could not hurl them into the abyss alongside all the other traitors in my life.

My last few days at home were restless, the nightmare hung by a thread over my swollen eyes, and with every passing moment the demons pounded on my heart, demanding to be set loose, yet somehow I made it through. I grimaced my way through the small party Baki threw for me, I played nice, hiding my emotions behind a intricately painted mask, fighting back the tears and rage. As I stepped onto the plane bringing me back to Konoha, my mask cracked, my emotions danced along the cracks, slowly seeping through, threatening to shatter it. Collapsing into the chair, I suppressed a scream itching at the back of my throat and dug my nails deep into the palms of my hands, breaking skin and drawing blood. The pain in my hands helped soothe my thrashing heart, and I stared as the blood slowly slipped between my fingers, staining my white-washed jeans with that all familiar blotch of brownish-red.

Konoha welcomed me the way it knew best, with flashes of lightening and rumbles of thunder. The dark grey clouds reflected my despondent mood, while the heavy drops of rain washed away the tears that streamed down my face. I felt utterly lost and alone again, like an insignificant wave tossed in the ocean, only to be swallowed up by the vastness. The storm continued to rage around me, encasing me in its cool embrace, as I tore my way out of the hellish nightmare that was my trip home. Before I knew what was happening I found myself leaning up against the cool granite monument, tossing my bags aside and falling into the wet grass, my head in my hands, the tears falling uncontrollably.

I don't know how long I'd been there, I don't remember when my tears dried up, but when the rain finally stopped and the sun broke through the inauspicious clouds I noticed that he was sitting there quietly next to me, close enough to instill a feeling of protection, but far enough to respect my privacy. I cannot say that I was surprised, he always managed to appear whenever I looked up from my despair, but I have to admit I was relieved. It was strange but he had the ability to soothe my troubled heart, perhaps it was his aloof disposition, or the fact that he never questioned my actions, but whatever it was he was always able to calm the storm raging within me.

Unexpectedly he looked over at me and smiled a lazy smile, and in his usual calm, indifferent tone he said, "welcome home."


	8. Collision

**So yea, this is the chapter I had wanted to write since the inception of the story was planted in my head. ****Admittedly, parts of this chapter was inspired by Mandy Moore's _Cry_ and the dialogue in certain scenes plays off some of the dialogue from Naruto Ch 235... ;D**

**Anywho, with that said, I hope you enjoy... oh and please review... kay thanks!~**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of its characters, that privileged belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. :3**

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Those two little words plagued me, consumed me. For the next few weeks I couldn't get the concept of 'home' out of my mind. It used to be so easy, so simple, home. Home was Suna, it was where my brothers were, it was where the nightmare originated, it was where the demons resided. It couldn't have been any easier, it never occurred to me that the concept of home could ever change for me, but if I had been asked at that very moment where home was for me, I most definitely would not have said Suna.

It irked me that my world was slowly changing, that I once again felt lost, abandoned. The more I dwelt upon the concept of home, the more that nagging sentimental hallmark cliché, _home is where the heart is_, kept weaseling its way into my mind. I despised useless euphemisms meant to uplift and instill feelings of love and security, it nauseated me to think that people actually believed these senseless sayings, yet the more those words repeated in my head, the stronger the desire to believe them grew. Unfortunately for me, my severed heart was far too broken for me to ever decipher where it was leading me.

That was the story of my life, unnecessary pain and destruction, abandonment and hopelessness, fleeting moments of love. I thought I had me all figured out, that there was nothing in the world that could surprise me anymore, but everything for me changed that night, the night we finally collided.

I'll never forget that night, September 25th, 1:55am. The stars were once again veiled by a thick blanket of clouds, shutting out the brilliant glittering stars, the way they were whenever I need their comfort. I had found my way onto the roof again, like I had for every night during the past two weeks. I was tired. Tired of the pain, of the loneliness, of the confusion, of life. My only saving grace was the fact that the nightmares did not come, that the demons remained caged, yet that nagging desire to repaint that white staccato wall with my blood refused to leave me. I think I would have given in that night, I probably would have tore up my knuckles again, just to remind myself I was still alive, that I still bled, but just as I took at step toward that wall, the piercing cry of screeching tires infiltrated reached my ear and I found myself staring over the ledge onto the street below.

I can still feel the pounding of my heart as I watched the scene unfold before me in horror. I felt my breath catch in the back of my throat as I watched the car swerved wildly down the street, moving much too fast as it slammed into the side of an unsuspecting car attempting to make an innocent left. It was as if someone had hit the slow motion button as the shriek of metal on metal tore through the quiet night, as the windshield shattered, sending millions of sparkling shards of glass drenched in bright red blood, scattering off into the air, as the passenger was flung from the car, with such force and velocity that as the body slammed into the second car, the impact tore the head from the body sending it flying and skidding to a halt some fifty yards away. I could not tear my eyes away as I watched the second body exit the vehicle and slam against the side of the car, splitting the poor guy's scull in two, plastering his brains all over the other car, and then the driver, the unfortunate driver who was only flung halfway our the windshield, the sharp fragments of the shattered windshield piercing into his abdomen, as he gasped for air and clawed at the hood.

My body was frozen in place up upon that roof, I wanted to cry out and scream as flashes of my past forced its way into the forefront of my mind, as the blood drenched walls and dusty streets infiltrated my senses. All those horrific memories of my past, those secrets I had kept locked so deep inside me, resurfaced that night, and that nightmare that I had held at bay for so long came rushing at me with full force. I knew I needed to get out of my own head, to get to a phone, to call the cops, to see if there was a way to salvage the situation, but it was not until the driver's side door of the second car slowly opened and the shaky teen-aged boy emerged from the car, that I found myself spiraling down the fire escape, running as fast as I could toward that gruesome scene. I forgot all about the cops, the ambulances, the phone, even the bloody mess that was before me, all I could think about was the fact that I had to reach him and save him from the hell waiting to engulf him.

"Temari?"

He stared at me, dazed, stunned, as I raced toward him. I needed to keep his attention on me, so that he would not look behind him and see the bloodbath that was the accident. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, to hold him close to me and shield him from the reality of the situation, to make all this madness disappear, to make everything alright, but all I could do was skid to a stop and stare stupidly at him as he turned around to face the bloody mess of mangled metal and maimed flesh.

Someone else must have also witnessed the accident, because as I stood there, gaping at the back of his head, flashes of blue and red lights filled the streets, sirens blaring as the cops and paramedics came runing up to us, and the firefighters rushed toward the distorted metal in an attempt to salvage the poor souls trapped within. I found myself recounting the details of the accident to a cop who furiously scribbled away in his little notebook, as the paramedics came in and whisked Shikamaru away.

By the time I made my way back to him, his injuries had already been treated, and for such a serious accident he had surprisingly come out pretty much unscathed. Besides a broken finger, he had not been touched, unfortunately his friends were not so lucky, especially the two on the passenger side, the side that got slammed by the other car. His distraught expression pained me, pulled at my heart, so I tried to find the right words to say, to reassure him, but the words escaped me, and all I could do was sit there next to him in silence. Situations like theses were never really good for me, I had grown up in a world where sweet words and comforting hugs did not exist. When my mother had died, I was told coldly by my father not to cry, because her death was simply a necessity. When I tried to stop him from beating my brother to the point of near death I was told to shut up lest I wanted a taste. When I had attempted to do the right thing by him and treat my little brother's wounds I was told not touch him lest I catch his uselessness. When my father was murdered and I laughed, I was called a monster and all my so-called friends betrayed me, abandoned me, discarded me, just because I believed that the fucking bastard deserved it.

Time dragged as we sat there and watched the firefighters continue to pry their way through the metal. They had already cleared away the three mutilated bodies that were ejected upon impact, but the blood was still everywhere, the smell of burnt rubber and oxidized iron still lingered. Although he didn't say anything and wore his usual indifferent expression, I was certain that the grotesque collision bothered him, and as they pulled the last two bodies from that first car, my suspicions were confirmed when he suddenly leaned over and retched.

Before I had a chance to realize what I was saying, to consider the impact my words would have on him, "well you're surprisingly fragile for a man" came tumbling out of my mouth.

The glare he shot me, instantly made me recoil and put my foot in my mouth. Perhaps it wasn't the most sympathetic thing to say, ever, but I hadn't meant to be mean. I didn't say it because I thought any less of him, or that he was any less of a man because of his reaction, but if you were to ask me why I said it, I honestly wouldn't have been able to say. It wasn't that blood and gore had no effect on me, that there weren't times in which I felt the foul bile surging up my esophagus, it was just that long ago I had been conditioned to either had to suck it up and swallow my disgust, or pay dearly for displaying weakness. I do have to admit that I hated myself afterwards, that the look he gave me cut deep into my heart and stung more than it probably should have, that for a second, I could heard my father's maniacal laughter resound in my head.

The silence that followed was excruciating, he refused to acknowledge my existence after that, and yet I still couldn't bring myself to leave. He had always been there for me when I needed someone the most, and although I clearly lacked tact with my words, and I certainly wasn't the most compassionate of people, I wanted to be there, no, I _needed _to be there for him.

When they finally pried open the top of his car and reached his friends, I felt a weight lifted off his shoulders as he released the breath he was holding, for it was stretchers that the paramedics were calling for, not body bags. I wanted to reach over and pat him on the back, the way Kankuro used to do for me whenever the gravity of the situation had finally passed, as a nonverbal way of saying, "everything's going to be okay now," but my hesitation cost me my chance, as he slowly stood up and made his way over to the ambulances.

I'm still not sure exactly what happened after that, but the next thing I knew, I had somehow managed to convince everyone on the scene that I knew the parties involved and _needed_ to accompany the victims to the hospital. He stared at me funnily as I climbed into the back ambulance with him, a look of annoyance and confusion betraying is usually composed features, but at the same time I could have sworn I caught a hint of relief in his eyes.

"There's no use in fidgeting you know. Shit like this happens all the time. Didn't they make you watch those videos during driver's ed?" I asked suddenly. We had been in the hospital for hours, sitting there in silence, waiting for news about his friends' conditions. I didn't mind the silence, I didn't even mind the waiting, although admittedly I'm probably one of the most impatient people you'd ever meet, but it was his incessant fidgeting that drove me up a wall.

He stopped moving his fingers and looked up at angrily me. "Stupid videos in a classroom are very different than real life. I was the driver, I was responsible for their lives! I let them down. I should have never asked my parents for that fucking car! I should have never gotten my license."

I stared at him. I didn't know what to say, I couldn't understand where he was coming from, I couldn't understand why he would care so much, it wasn't as if the accident was his fault, it wasn't as if there was anything he could have done to change the situation. These were the cards life dealt him, sometimes they are shitty, but there's nothing we can do to change them, we just have to play with what we've got.

"I shouldn't have been driving, it was too soon, if I had been more mature, if I had more experience, if I hadn't been so laid back... everyone just trusted me and I let them all down. It's all my fault..." He said quietly as he stood up, a look of desolation on his face.

"When did you become so dense?" I asked bluntly, annoyed at his outlook of the situation.

"Excuse me?" He demanded, narrowing his eyes and hardening his stare.

"I said, when did you become so dense? I thought you were Mr. Smarty-pants, that that brain of yours had the capability of analyzing situations to an unnatural degree."

For a split second I could have sworn he rolled his eyes at me, right before he shoved his hands into his pockets, turned away, and took a few slow, labored steps toward the other end of the waiting area.

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Look, it doesn't take a genius to see that what happened wasn't your fault. You did everything right, the very fact that all your friends are still alive is testament to that. Shit happens in life, sometimes it's fucked up and beyond our control, when that happens we just have to suck it up, grow a pair and roll with it. What kind of man are you anyway, to just throw in the towel and give up once something bad happens? What happened to fighting back? Proving that you're better than the situation? At this rate you're nothing more than just a fucking pussy."

I don't know what came over me, I don't know why I cared so much at that moment, why I felt the need to make sure he understood the situation for what it was, that he was acting like a little bitch and needed to man up. Perhaps it was because he always had such a chauvinistic point of view of things, that this sudden desire to give up and put himself down was unsettling, perhaps it was because I had long forgotten what it meant to actually care about someone other than myself, and seeing him like that actually stirred up something within me.

"Fucked up shit happens everyday, your friends were lucky that you are responsible, that you had their best interests in mind, just think, you guys could have been the other car. You might not think you're mature enough, that you didn't have enough experience, but the fact is, you were and you did. You got into an accident, so what? If it wasn't you it would have been someone else, and if your friends were stuck with some irresponsible ass-wipe then they might not have even survived the crash, or kept their heads. At least you know you did everything right, so take from this what you may, but don't be a little bitch and punk out of life just become some shit happened."

He didn't say anything, he just stood there, with his back turned to me, frozen in place, staring off into the distance as if he had forgotten where he was right about to go. I couldn't tell if my words had gotten through to him, I wasn't sure if I should apologize for over stepping my boundaries, or continue to beat the point home. As I stood there, contemplating my next move the doors to the ER burst open, and the doctor triumphantly stormed through the doors, victoriously exclaiming the success of the operations. It seemed that his friends were going to make it, that all those hours of waiting weren't just in vain.

I'll never forget that moment, September 25th, 2:10pm, it seemed to have lasted forever, but yet it ended so soon. The funny thing about it was that although that waiting room was full of people, his family, his friends' families, random administrators, others waiting on news of their loved ones, at that very moment, it seemed as if everyone in the room simply vanished and the only people left were the two of us. It was as if we were in our own little world, and all the emotions he had kept buried inside, manifested before my eyes, and although he still had his back turned to me, I knew by the way his shoulders trembled and the soft erratic way his breathes were expelled, that he had stared crying. I can't explain how I felt, all I can say was that, at that moment, something inside me was changed. Twelve hours ago I probably would have made another offhanded, inappropriate comment about the fragility of men, but instead, I realized that of all the people I have ever met in this world, he was more of a mystery to me than anyone I have known, and that for some reason this nagging desire to unravel him grew stronger and stronger.

I found myself going crazy the next day, the blood and gore of the accident had brought back to life those horrific memories I had so carefully locked away, so very long ago. All I could see before me was the blood that tainted my past, the blood that had seeped into my skin and corroded away any semblance of normality I had left. I felt my sanity slipping from me as I battled the demons within my soul, I was cornered, beaten, defeated, and just as I was about to give into the madness, to give into the animal inside of me, he appeared, and pulled me back from the brink of insanity.

"Hey, you weren't at your usual Sunday morning spot, so I figured I'd just come by and see if you were here."

As I stood there, holding the door open, listening to the words escaping his mouth, I could feel those blasted memories begin to fade, the nightmare slowly dissipate, and the demons retreat. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, on the reason why my inner conflict dispersed. The thing was, I had always believed that it was the chess games, or the floating clouds above that grassy knoll, that had the power to reconcile the violence within my heart and exorcise the demons of my past. Never had I ever considered the possibility that it could have been him, but at that very moment, I finally realized that perhaps, maybe, just maybe there was a slight chance that it was just simply him. It was such a strange feeling, yet in it's own weird way, it was almost refreshing, and I could almost feel a smile spread across my lips as my mind cleared and my sanity returned. "Guess you we right, cause here I am. What's up?"

He shrugged. "Nothing really, I just wanted to say thanks."

"Uh... you're welcome?" I said eying him questioningly. For a simple 'thank you' he certainly came a long way to seek me out, in fact I'm still kind of unsure on how he knew where I lived. It wasn't like my address was listed anywhere, yet there he was, standing at the door of my apartment, hands in his pockets, apathy plastered on his face, and a simple 'thank you' on his lips. Deciding that there was more to his visit than just a simply thanks, I stepped back from the door, opening it wider and gestured for him to enter my little apartment. "So... what exactly am I being thanked for?"

"For yesterday." He said as he stifled a yawn and rubbed the back of his neck, before accepting my invitation into the apartment. "Granted, you were kind of a royal bitch to me most of the day, but still, I was grateful you were there."

I couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "Royal bitch eh? Gee... thanks." I said sarcastically, closing the door behind me.

He chuckled in response, clearly amused by my sarcastic thanks. "But in all seriousness, I really did appreciate your presence, I don't think I would have made it through that night, let alone the whole day if you hadn't been there..." His voice trailed at the end, as the gravity of the night before slowly seeped its way back into that little apartment of mine.

I shrugged and settled into the old, worn couch I had acquired from the nearby thrift store shortly after coming to Konoha almost a year ago. "I guess... but honestly, I really didn't do anything... except berate you of course... that and question your manhood."

Following my lead he plopped down next to me and scoffed before staring down at his hands. "I suppose there was that, hence the royal bitch comment, but..." He paused, tapping his fingers against themselves for a few seconds before quickly stopping, as if he remembered my comment about fidgeting, and began again, his voice lower, more solemn. "It's just that... well, when I first realized just how bad the accident was, I felt like I had just stepped right into the middle of a fucking horror movie. There was so much blood... and that dude... his head... I wanted to run, to just fucking disappear and pretend it was all just a bad dream, that none of it was real, but then there you were. You were so calm and collected, as if it wasn't anything special, and yet your eyes, your eyes were filled with so much fear and horror, compassion and sorrow. It's weird, but seeing you like that, seeing all that emotion in your eyes and the fact that despite all that, despite the atrocious scene and your inner disgust, you were still able to compose yourself... I don't know, it kind of anchored me, drew me back to reality, helped me return to sanity."

I frowned, his words were unsettling, not only because I completely disagreed with them, but also because that little bit he said about me anchoring him, drawing him back to reality, saving him from insanity, it was the very sentiments I felt in regards to him. "You know," I said softly, "being calm and collected in a situation like that isn't normal... it's not something praiseworthy... something to be thankful for... you can't possibly know..." I stopped, swallowed the painful memories and looked at him. "You couldn't possibly fathom the amount of shit the world has flung at me, the amount of blood that stained my very core... the unimaginable things that created that soulless monster you saw last night."

He looked up apologetically at me, as if he could see into my past, and understand the breadth of the things I have witnessed, things that no being should ever have known, things that clawed at my sanity, things that I had to keep buried deep inside so that I wouldn't be overwhelmed and could face another day. "... Well what I meant was that, despite the fact that you found the scene revolting, and I know you did, so don't even try to deny it... and despite the fact that you didn't need to be there, heck besides me, who was clearly uninjured, you didn't know any of the other people involved, you decided to stay. I know it was kind of selfish of me, but in a way I was glad that you decided to throw away your Saturday and accompany me to a hospital, and sit in a dingy waiting room for hours on end with nothing to do, just to know that people you have never met before were going to be okay... But you know what? The funny thing is, and I know this is gonna sound kind of stupid and quite narcissistic of me... but for some reason, I just kinda felt that maybe, you were there for me... to make sure that I was going to be okay, mentally, and to be honest, even though you were mega-bitch in your way of going about it, it kinda made me happy... and for that I am really grateful."

"Heh," A smirk played at the corner of my lips, it amused to know that despite his apparent ignorance of the situation yesterday, he was still observant enough to accurately interpret my actions. "Perhaps..." I said coyly, "there could be some truth in your assessment... but then again, who knows, it's possible that you could be as narcissistic as you are brilliant."

"You're a strange woman, you know that?"

I chuckled and flashed him a smile. "Yea... I hear that from time to time. What of it? You don't think it takes away from my awesomeness do you?"

He let out a restrained laugh and shook his head slightly, the smile lingering on his face. "No, no, it's not a bad thing at all. In fact I find it rather refreshing."

"Oh? That's good then, now I don't have to kill you. But you know..." I said, the humor leaving my voice. "There's something that's been bugging me ever since the hospital."

"Hmm?"

"Thing is, I just can't figure out why you cared so much."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... well, that whole time, yesterday, you blamed yourself, as if you were personally responsible, like you were the one who got those other kids drunk and made them slam into your friends... why? What made you care so much? What was it that made you get so riled up that you would lose all sense of logic? I just don't get it."

He sat there and stared at me for a couple of seconds, with an expression I couldn't quite decipher, before he shrugged his shoulders, replaced his mask of indifference and slumped back into the couch. "I don't know. I guess in a way I just knew they would have done the same for me."

"Hmm..." I mused as I pursed my lips and crossed my arms. "But how could you be so sure..."

Turning his face toward me, he took a moment to think before saying, "well let's put it this way. Why did you come running from wherever the hell you were? Why did you decide to come with me to the hospital? Why did you feel the need to be there even though there was no logical reason for you to be?"

I frowned, in an instant I could see his reasoning, and it displeased me to know that he was once again right.

"Well?" He asked, failing to keep his apathetic mask in place as a smirk threatened to shatter its facade.

I glared at him and mumbled, "because you would have done the same for me."

In an instant that _see-I-told-you-so_ smirk broke across his lips and I glowered at him, curbing the desire to beat the living shit out of him, because no matter how much his know-it-all expression irritated me, I had to admit that the man had a point.

"I hate you, just so you know." I said in defiance.

He chuckled and closed his eyes. "Uh-huh. I'll keep that in mind."

"You better."

"And if I don't?"

"Heh," I scoffed, before grinning wickedly at him. "Don't worry, I'll make sure to remind you periodically."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow and met my eyes, returning my grin with that aloof smile of his. "That's good to hear... I suppose."

"You know, you're really lucky."

"Why? 'Cause you hate me?"

"No. Because you have people you care about, who care about you in return. Good, faithful, genuine friends are hard to come by, and although you like to pretend you're a loner, that the people around you are too troublesome to bother with, you seem to have a pretty sizable group of them."

"You know, you really are a strange woman." He said sitting up. "But I suppose you do have a point. When you put it that way, I suppose I am pretty lucky, but going off your logic, you're not so bad off yourself."

I felt a scowl creep across my face. "How so?" I questioned.

"Well for starters, you have me."

"Wow, you really are narcissistic..." I countered, rather sarcastically.

"Hey, I'm just following your logic here." He said defensively.

"Yea, well..." Truthfully, I had nothing. In a way I suppose he was right, I was kinda lucky, in the sense that I did have him. I hated the fact that I had never noticed this before, that I had always been so wrapped up in my past, drowning in a pool of my own self pity and misery, that I had failed to see what had been staring me in the face this whole time. I mean, in an roundabout kind of way, I did notice, given that I was always aware of the fact that whenever I needed someone, he would always appear, as if he had this bizarre direct link to my brain and knew exactly when and where to just materialize, but it had never occurred to me that in some strange, backwards, forced kind of way, we had actually developed an undeniable friendship.

That afternoon I finally realized what those two little words he said to me when I first returned to Konoha meant. For the longest time I was so fixated on the fact that home had to be a physical place, that he had meant that Konoha was my home now, but that day, I finally understood that my home wasn't Konoha, nor was it Suna, or even that little apartment we were sitting in. Home had become for me that place where I could finally feel safe, where the demons weren't welcomed and the nightmares couldn't manifest, home was, as that irritating hallmark sentiment put it, where my heart was, and for the first time since, well ever, I was finally able to piece together enough fragments of my shattered heart to be able to clearly see where it was leading me. Simply put, home was where he was.

You know, I still don't know how it happened, perhaps you can enlighten me, because it's been bothering me for some time now, but how is it, that two people, so polarily opposite could possibly bind together so perfectly? I don't want to hear some scientific bullshit about physics and how positively charged objects and negatively charged objects experience an attractive force, I want to know why I fell for your dumb ass, okay maybe not dumb, because perhaps as Mr. Sarutobi put it, you're quite brilliant, but you know what I mean.

Anyway, so that's my story, it's not much, I know, but it's the cry of my heart. It does make me wonder though, that if after all this, you still see me as an enigma, or that perhaps maybe somewhere along the way, with or without this silly letter of mine, you had managed to figure me out, because if you did, could you please show me the solution manual?

- Temari

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**A/N: I know that the latter part of what Temari says in the hospital was said by Shikamaru's dad in the manga, but I didn't feel like introducing Shikaku at the moment (or ever really) so I had Temari say it... same difference... same effect in my opinion... which is really all that counts since I'm the one writing this... hahaha**

**Anyway, so this chapter was a lot longer than I had initially planned, but what can I say, it kinda ran away from me, and I couldn't find a good stopping point except for where it ended... and well it's over. D:**

**I hope you enjoyed this story, and please please please review... thanks 3**


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